forever

We all want forever.

We all wish to live, to be, to endure, to thrive, to love and to be happy…

…forever

The picture attached to this post had to have been the second or third camping trip with my old church in Yonkers.

.. at least 20 years old.

This picture is a sophomore in college. LOL

So actually – this post and this picture was sitting in my draft folder just waiting for a post but during my morning conversations with my team, my coworkers and my girlfriend, I thought of the term, the idea and the concept of sentimentality. So here’s my question:

What is the value of “sentimental value”?

Like this picture for example. What value does this picture hold for me?

I talk to absolutely no one in this picture. Even my brother with the thumbs up. He’s married and living happily out-of-state. We talk but only sparingly.

And that’s not to say that anything is wrong. Nothing is wrong and my relationship with everyone here has simply faded away.

So therein lies the question – as for objects that have existed alongside our life for a very long time, what is the intrinsic value of these things?

How much does personal sentiment weigh into factoring the value that any one things “holds” in the real and material world?

This question begs me to consider who I am at the core of my being. I am very much a materialistic person. I don’t feel value from the things I own – I’ve actually owned up to the fact that I simply enjoy things and owning things. But what do these things mean to me? Do these things add value to me? Do these things add value to my life? What is the worth of these things?

And forget the question of material things for a second – what about people in my life?

I’ve moved around so much in my life that I’ve actually found most relationships to be very pointless – eventually people will leave me, so why do I care? Why should I care?

I know, I sound cold and heartless.

But what can I do? How many times do I have to be left holding the bags?

How many times do I have to be left out in the cold to clean up other people’s messes?

How many times do I have to be left to finish things up while other leaves early to enjoy their lives?

Yeah, I sound dramatic – and to a point I am.

My heart can only express things in these terms. I live in the realm of value and efficiency. Everything around me challenges this that resides in me.

You know I’ve been reading a book of short stories about mildly interesting things. (thank you for the book Yeji) It’s fodder for future party or small-gathering anecdotes – interesting stories that prove to be useful when I have absolutely nothing of use to add to the conversations.

God I hate small talk.

This book made me think – what if I value efficiency because this is my twisted way to getting to my “forever” just a little bit quicker?

What if I’m decrying forever because I know how difficult it’s going to be to get there for myself?

What a interesting topic..

..kinda

cheers

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