don’t over analyze this

but what do you when you feel like a failure?

I’m not blame shifting – this is completely on me

what do you do when you feel so.. lost?

I am so far inside my own head I feel like I can’t even walk straight.

It’s frankly debilitating: not knowing what I doing or where I’m going.

I was so sure of myself – from high school to college – even in seminary – I didn’t exactly know what the plan was but there was a plan somewhere.

And I was just so sure: back in 2011, I promised myself that no matter what room I entered, I would outwork everyone. No bullshit, no excuses, no cheat days.

I ignored relationships, friendships, and community (that last one I regret to this day) and I positioned my entire life to get better.

My problem: I didn’t know WHAT I wanted to be better at.

I hate feeling like this. Eight years later and Im stuck right where I started.

I hate this….

even this post is so bad – aaghhh it’s so teen-angsty

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